I ordered Italian Sandwich, $6.95. It came with molinari Italian salami pepperoni, ham, provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato, mayo and Italian dressing. They don’t have combo meals so I was forced to order everything ala cart. I got a bag of chips, $1.75 and a medium sprite for, $1. 50 to share with my honey.

The whole meal was fabulous. It was a really good sandwich in every way but size. I don’t recommend sharing this if your hungry. It was just enough to fill us up but leave us hungry for more in another hour. Which I guess isn’t so bad since it’s better to eat more meals at smaller portions throughout the day.

Another great thing I love about this place is that they are locally owned and work with local farmers. I support supporting local farmers.

Aloha Salads is right next door to Gourmet Express which also has really good food.

click below for directions

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Kahala Mall
4211 Waialae Avenue
Honolulu, HI 96816
808 735-8334
10:00 AM-9 PM Daily

Salad Creations reminds me of Subway because the whole process is like one big accembly line to the creation of your meal. You go in, pick your lettuce, choose what you want to throw in, add meat for a fee, pick a dressing, have them toss it all for you, pay and eat.

Today I decided to be a vegetarian and had the Chopped Veggie, $5.99. The menu said it came with romaine and iceberg lettuce, green bell peppers, red onions, mushrooms, artichoke hearts, corn, chickpeas, tomatoes, carrots, and croutons. As you can see, the salad came in ginormous steel bowl. I really enjoy eating out of a bowl, so I like this idea. However, as for the salad, it was pretty fucking boring. I think they try to give off the impression of being very genorous with the portions by giving a ton of lettuce and not much of anything else. I had to dig and push all the green stuff to the side just to get a bite of anything else, Also, I couldn’t find corn, mushrooms, or artichoke hearts anywhere in my salad. How do you forget three different items? The girl must of been new, or retarded.

If there had been less green stuff I think my salad could of been really enjoyable.

If having your salad tossed is really not your thing, no worries, to each his own. Just order a wrap. This is the Santa Fe Chicken Wrap, $7.99. It consisted of grilled chicken, cheddar cheese, tomatoes, red onions, and green bell peppers, romaine lettuce, hot sauce, croutons, and creamy ranch dressing. For a little bit extra you could make it a meal and have chips and a drink. I have no complaints with this one. I liked the size of the wrap and everything tasted fresh.

Overall I think I’m a fan. If you don’t mind a lot of lettuce then you’ll love this place. You get enough to share for around 8 bucks and they have dressings galore to choose from.

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Salad Creations 425 South Street, #104 Honolulu, HI 96813 (808) 349-3333

As most of you know I love love love acai bowls. I’ve never heard of them until my arrival to Hawaii and then my life has never been the same. Even though I have been exposed to these precious bowls for only a year I can say with absolute certainty that I am an expert at the art of making acai bowls. I’ve attempted to make them a few times and every-time they come out crap, but nonetheless I stand by my claim as an expert in the art of acai bowls. Here let me explain. Being the cheap ass that I am I bought a cheap ass blender and now all my smoothies, shakes, etc come out looking like clumps of mushy shit. However, I’ve watched the process of making the bowl enough times to know exactly how it should be made. The key is frozen fruit. If you add fresh, soft fruit the stuff will come out runny and mushy. Frozen fruit acts as ice, giving it a thick blended consistency and also adds the obvious vitamins and nutrition. Blend two packet of acai, frozen fruit, and I prefer soy milk but juice works just as nicely. Granola should be added to the bottom of the bowl, as well as on top. Top it off with slices of fruit and them drizzle it with honey. There you have it, the recipe to a spectacular bowl. Now if you don’t want to go through all the trouble buy one. In my opinion there’s a few places that put out top notch bowls on the island.

As you can see, a not a lot of commotion going on here. It doesn’t give off the same island vibe as the Health Bar, but it’s still really cute.

What is it about smoothie places that also sell jewelery. At first I thought it was called Jewel or Juice because I thought that they have the tapioca drinks and a lot of times the tapioca is called pearl so I just assumed that jewel was referring to the tapioca pearls. No, I was wrong, they sell jewelery, there’s no tapioca pearls to be found here.

This is the Warrior Bowl, $7.50. It’s 24oz of acai, acerola, banana and soymilk and topped with bananas, berries, kiwi, bee pollen, honey and organic granola. As you can see, presentation is there. Just looking at this photo makes me want to stop what I’m doing, hop in my car and go get one now. The fruit was cut super thin, however, I think this is smart on their part because it gives off the illusion of more fruit and besides all you need is a nice balance of a little fruit with each bite. The only way they could of made this better is to add granola at the bottom of the bowl, like the Health Bar does. After I was done indulging in the first half I was left with just acai smoothie, not that acai smoothie is so bad alone, it just looks so lonely by itself.

I think one bowl is perfect for two. Which is what Ray an I do. This is the Deluxe Acai Bowl, 24oz. for $7.25. It’s acai, strawberry, banana and apple juice and then topped with banana, fresh berries, goji berries, honey and organic granola. Since I have found this place I can’t stop myself. Every morning I’m like, “ooh baby, you want to go get a bowl?”

Anyhow, I’ve been here enough to learn some new trips to make the bowl even better. First buy an extra bag of granola, $1.00. I took a picture to show you that a small bag for a dollar is not so small. Also I like getting the extra bag because I can add the granola when I’m ready for more. At the Health Bar extra granola also cost one dollar but it’s only a scoop which comes out to about 1/4 of what you see here. Also, I ask for more honey and this is only when I’m out of the free honey packets that I stole from Star Bucks. They charge .30 cents and put it on the side. Health Bar charges .50 and add it in. I keep comparing this place to the Health Bar, not to bash it. I like the Health Bar. I keep comparing the two because I think they put out top notch bowls as well, but going there can be a bit of a pain in my ass. Jewel or Juice has cheaper bowls, cheaper granola, cheaper honey and faster service. Health Bar has more expensive everything but cuter girls working as slow as their brain cells will allow, which doesn’t sound so bad depending on what mood your in.

I almost forgot to mention, another great thing about this place is that they have acai bowl cards. So if you buy 10 bowls the 11th one is free. I love places that reward loyal customs.

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Jewel or Juice
3619 Waialae Avenue
Honolulu, HI96816

Get Directions(808) 734-1700

Conveniently located in Kailua on the way to Lanakai Beach Kalapawai Market definitely isn’t hurting for business. As a matter of fact every time I come here this place always seems pretty packed for a local market.

Kalapawai stands apart from your average joe market because not only can one come here for basic necessities like milk, home pregnancy tests, condoms and alcohol but one can come and stay for lunch. There’s a fine deli in the back of the place and usually someone out front inducing you with tantalizing BBQ aromas. What’s one do to? Surrender you poor unfortunate soul, surrender.

This is the Yogurt Bowl, $4.99, with fruit yogurt, granola and fresh fruit. I thought this was a pretty good deal considering the bowl was a meal in it itself. I really like the generous amount of granola that was given and it stayed crunchy even though it was premade.

There was a lot of dried fruit and some fresh bananas at the bottom. It came with one strawberry that also served the purpose of a garnish.

This is the Italian Sub, $7.49, french baguette, ham, turkey, salami, provolone, lettuce, tomato, pepperoncini, Italian dressing and sun dried tomatoes pesto. This place has kick ass sandwiches but I gotta tell ya, there sandwiches are small as hell, which is why I don’t come here all the time.

On this day Ray and I didn’t have a very large appetite so as usual we shared and it was actually the perfect amount of food. I’m a fan of this place, regardless of their puny sandwiches. Come here for good sandwiches and if your hungry order two.

Here’s an older post on Kalapawai and their restaurant.

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Kalapawai Market
306 S Kalaheo Ave
Kailua, HI96734

Get Directions(808) 262-4359

Oh mall food, where do I began. I’ve never been a fan of most mall food because most of the time it’s just seems as though it’s a clutter of fast food, poor in quality with really horrible service all within an overcrowded food court. Unless of course it’s a restaurant all on it’s own and, well, that’s a different story. We were turned on to Gourmet Express by a close friend of ours, who chooses to remain anonymous, Amber. She said it wasn’t really expensive, the portions were pretty big and it was surprisingly good. Also, they have vegetarian items, which is a good thing since she’s one of those people. While shopping at Kahala Mall one day Ray and I happen to stumble upon Gourmet Express and decided to give it a whirl.

It’s Christmas time at Kahala Mall so pick a seat around their festively large tree.

I didn’t mind the mall food court on this side of the mall because it didn’t give me that mall food court vibe. As you can see although all the tables are taken up there’s not a lot of hyperactive energy going on. Did I mention it was Christmas time?

Since we weren’t ridiculously hungry we decided to share something. I know I mentioned this before but I highly recommend sharing. Ray and I do it almost every time. It prevents us from overeating and allows us to try anything on the menu without worrying about how expensive it is since we save money on the extra meal we can splurge on anything we want so long as we agree on it. On this day we decided on a Quesadilla. Ray goes, “We’re gonna get a Chicken Quesadilla. Is there a difference on the Chicken or Checken.” And the lady behinds the counter goes, “Huh?” looks up at the sign and goes, “Oh, it’s just spelt wrong.” I have one word for you, Retards. They have to be. I mean if both of them were spelled, “checken,” well then that’s a different story. I spell words wrong all the time but the first one was correctly spelled so how is it that they couldn’t manage to correctly spell the second one. I mean, really it’s right there in front of them. It baffles me. This person had to be highly confused and in a moment of despair decided to play the odds game. At least this way one of them would be correct. Great, now I’m a little worried about the turnout of my food.

Here it is, Checken Pesto Quesadilla, $6.99. As you can see the presentation is pretty basic. Our quesadilla came in four cut pieces in a styrofoam container inside a plastic bag with a small side of salsa. You can see Rays arm to the side so hopefully you guys can have an idea of how nice the portions were.

The quesadillas were fully packed with chicken, cheese, pesto sauce, tomatoes and even corn. Wow, it was really good. The pesto sauce was mixed with olive oil so even though it seemed a little greasy it was the good grease. The chicken didn’t once taste fatty or too dry. I told Ray I wouldn’t question this dish the least bit if it were served at a gourmet restaurant on a fancy plate with lovely garnish and a lovely price to match. The salsa was nothing spectacular, tasted like the can stuff you get at the grocery stores.

This might not look very enticing but I opened up the last bit of my quesadilla so you guys have an idea of what’s on the inside. No surprises.

There you have it folks. I was happy, Ray was happy and we have Amber to thank for it and now you do too. Thanks Amber, now just go over there, show them which chicken is correct and everyone will be happy.

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Gourmet Express
4211 Waialae Ave
Honolulu, HI 96816
(808) 732-7700

Grocery shopping in Hawaii is heartbreaking. You see, growing up as a child my sister and I would wake up early in the mornings with our mother just to go grocery shopping. I know it’s weird, but it was like quality time for us with our coupons in hand. We would memorize the prices of each item and compare it to other grocery stores. To this day, I have a habit of memorizing prices on produce because of my mother and I thank her for it. Cartons of strawberries here can easily go for $6.00 on this island. That’s why when I saw in the streets of Chinatown for the special rate of $1.00, I had to buy at least two baskets and write about my new find.

I went home to make a strawberry spinach salad with raspberry vinaigrette dressing but my spinach at home went bad so I ate them as is. Delicious!

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(Around) N King St & Kekaulike St
Honolulu HI 96817

I have to wake up at the butt crack of dawn in the mornings to move the car before I get a ticket or before it gets towed. So instead of reparking it and going back to sleep, Ray and I decide to start our day off with a smoothie from Jamba Juice.

I know a lot of you don’t really care about Jamba Juice, or any other major chain places, but this isn’t really about Jamba, it’s about the new Acai Cups they have. If you’ve been following my blog, then you already know that I’m a sucker for acai bowls, or in this case, cups. So when Jamba Juice joined the band wagon and decided to come out with one of their own I had no choice but to
give them a fair try.

While this is the winner when it comes to prices, only $4.50, it didn’t do it for me when it came it satisfaction. There’s just something special about acai smoothies in a bowl. In a cup, with fruit and granola it just seems more like a wanna be parfait. While the fruit was good, the granola was more like bits of cardboard. It was so bland that I would have preferred the cup without the granolas than with. There was no honey. When will places learns that acai bowls, cups, will never reach their full potential unless they are generously coated with nector from mother nature, yes, owey goey honey. I went up to the counter and asked for some and they didn’t have any. Fortunately, Star Bucks does and where there’s a Jamba Juice there’s tends to be a Star Bucks, since Jamba is owned by Star Bucks. Actually it was not my idea, but the employee of Jamba, “people go get honey packets next door all the time.” Sweet, don’t mind if I do. I walked next door up to the counter and asked for some honey. They gave it free of charge, with a smile. Yet another way to jack Star Bucks and not hate on them.

Get Directions

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Jamba Juice
625 Kapahulu Ave Honolulu, HI96815
(808) 734-4177

After reading Kathy’s food blog about Andy’s one day I had to see what all the fuss was about, so a few days later I rounded up the boys, Ray, Shane, and Justin and we went out in search of this famous sandwich place. Ray’s a sandwich whore. He loves Subway, Quizno’s and just deli’s in general. I’ve eaten more sandwiches in the last two years I’ve been with him than my whole entire existence. I always thought that sandwiches were a bit juvenile, made solely for the younger days of elementary school when we were forced to bring a plastic lunch box that accommodated a matching thermus filled with apple juice. Inside the box would almost always be some kind of monotonous sandwich, usually peanut butter and jelly or baloney and cheese. After the fourth grade I really can’t recall ever eating or having the desire to eat another sandwich, and then I met Ray. I have to admit, sandwiches have grown on me. Although, I can’t eat them all day like Ray can, I do appreciate a good sandwich ever now and then and Andy’s is perfect for those occasions.

Andy’s is a small, family owned and operated deli. The menu is written on super bright fluorescent paper. Sandwiches run around $5.00.

This is the Chicken Burger, $3.85. I think it resembles a sandwich more than it does a burger, but hey, it’s Andy’s store, he could name it whatever the hell he wants.

Roast Beef Sandwich, $4.50.

I ordered the Eggplant Melt, $5.85.

All the sandwiches were amazing. I have to agree with Kathy when she says the sandwiches “leaves you satisfied, not full.” Sometimes it’s liberating not being a glutton whore.
Another reason why I love Andy’s is they have Wifi. You gotta appreciate places that openly give access to free Internet.

Andy’s is another place that proves good food doesn’t mean you have to ass rape your customers just to stay in business

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Andy’s Sandwiches and Smoothies
2904 East Manoa Rd,
Honolulu, HI
(808) 988-6161

I am a whore of many kinds, amongst a few are shaved ice, condiments, and acai bowls. Anytime I see acai bowls I will instantly become a whore for her sweet sweet love.
Robeks, to me, is like Jamba Juice’s retarded brother; it’s like they’re trying to be as hip and cool as Jamba but somehow it just not happening.

As for the acai bowl, I ordered the Super Acai Bowl, a “blend of 7 oz of Acai, apple juice, bananas, topped with fresh banana slices and organic granola.” It was good, but not what I had expected. Just like with shaved ice, texture and consistency is crucial. If it’s too runny, as it was at Lanikai, then you mine as well toss the utensils out the window and pick up a straw. The acai bowls at Robeks were complete opposite, instead of being too running, they were too thick, so thick that to me it was more like frozen sorbet with granola on it. I seriously had to use a little force just to shovel some up. Now, like I said, it wasn’t bad, actually it was rather tasty, just not what I was expecting.

The bowl didn’t come with honey to top but when I asked for it, the lady behind the counter gladly gave it to me, a generous amount at no additional charge.

Another thing I like about this place is that they have the nutritional information on the back of their to go menus. The only other places that I know of that does this is Jamba Juice and Sub Way.
In conclusion, The Health Bar still wins the “Best Acai Bowl Award,” Although, however orgasmic their acai bowls are, I still refuse to go there; waiting 45 minutes for a smoothie is fucking ridiculous. I wouldn’t doubt if their cute little servers are more talented at the art of fellatio than at the art of blending.
Rebeks is the perfect treat on a hot humid day. Since their acai bowls are super hard and frozen, it’s very likely that it will remain delightfully cold to the very last bite.

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Robeks Fruit Smoothies & Healthy Eats
2919 Kapiolani Blvd #204
Honolulu, HI 96826

Kalapawai Cafe & Deli is the offspring of Kalapawai Market. Apparently business is doing well at the market so what else to do but venture out into the dining business.

This is seared marlin fish plate. The menu had a better description, but I didn’t memorize it and they don’t have to go menus because apparently it always changes.

Salmon Papaya Salad.

Roasted Potatoes

Salmon Bruschetta

This trip was taken a while back so I can’t go into too much detail about it. What I can tell you is that we all loved this place. From the outside it looked like an affordable deli; perfect for a quick, affordable bite to satisfy our hunger after a long day at the beach before we head back home. However looks are deceiving as we all know, so once we were inside we felt a little under dressed in our damp T-shirts, board shorts and left over sand that molded itself into the cushions of our tender, sun baked skin, so we sat outside in the patio. Service was great. The menu was, wow, really affordable. $8.00 for fish, sweet! I don’t have to force myself to order the cheapest thing on the menu. However, like I said, looks are deceiving, and when the food came out we were a little displeased with the inadequate portion size. I guess you get what you pay for, affordable, small, palatable dishes that left us wanting more. And that’s exactly what we did. It was so good, we order a bottle of cheap wine and another dish. Actually, we ordered this bottle because of its name, “Fat Bastard.”

Just like we ordered “Bitch” wine from, coincidently, its mother market Kalapawai Market because of its name.

Kalapawai Cafe & Deli is a great place, with good atmosphere, food and service at a decent price. One plate wasn’t enough for any of us, so come here with good company that makes taking of more interest than eating.

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Kalapawai Cafe & Deli
750 Kailua Rd
Kailua, HI96734
(808) 262-3354

I’m here to set the story straight once and for all. You see there’s been this crazy rumor going around that the chicks that works at Lanikai Juice are hot and their smoothies aren’t bad either. Well one day after the beach we decided to give the smoothies a try and give our eyes a sweet treat while we were at it. All I have to say is, “Bullshit.” Now, I’m not saying that the girls were ugly, that they are not. It’s just that I have such high expectations. This rumor has been running wild for years now, probably ever since Lanikai Juice opened up and I’m sure that they, at one point and time had some very hot babes working the counter but times have changed. All Ray had to say was, “Baby, Lanikai Juice just isn’t the same anymore.” Anyway, my point is, if your gonna be sexist and only hire females then stick to the protocol and make sure they’re hot other wise stop with all the rumors. It’s just not cool to bite the hand that feeds you, you know what I’m saying.

Anyway, this blog is about food so lets get on with it. As soon as I noticed that they had acai bowls I had to give it a try. You see, ever since I found the acai bowl at the Health Bar my life hasn’t been the same. They have the most amazing bowls but the service is like dealing with I.N.S. (immagration and naturalization services); they take their sweet time and get to you when they feel you waited an adequet amount of time while your left there wondering if your order was misplaced or lost, do they even know I exist . . . yes of course they do, they just don’t care. For some inane reason the hiring manager at the Health Bar thinks that eye candy is a good compensation for the imbeciles that he hires. So, you see, I have this love hate relationship with the Health Bar, love the food, hate the retards. So I’m in search for a replacement. Ray got the Acai Traditional: 16 oz of double acai, bananas, granola, and apple juice for $5.95.

I got the Acai Extravaganza: 16 oz double acai, bananas, berries, granola, and apple juice with coconut shavings to top it off for $6.75.

In my professional opinion, I need to keep on searching. The smoothie was way too runny, the coconuts didn’t mix well with it and service just wasn’t that great to be honest. I prefer my acai bowls with honey so when I notice that honey was no where to be found I went back in and asked for some. I had to go back in the long line just for honey and was even charged for it. They gave me this teeny, tiny half full, 2 oz serving of honey for .50 cents each (I got two). I hate places that nickel and dime you for shit. It’s so not cool. Some things should be free, like honey. Volcano Joes gives it for free. It’s right there, out in the open, you don’t even have to get back in line for it. Star Bucks will even give free honey, you just have to ask the person at the counter, but they paired up with T-Moble to nickel and dime you for internet, which, in my opinion, should also be free. I’m not saying every business should give free internet, but if you offer something, give it. That’s all. It’s not that expensive and you can write it off when you do taxes. End of story.

I don’t think I’ll be coming back, but if you want to check it out for yourself be my guest.

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Lanikai Juice
600 Kailua Rd
Kailua, HI96734
(808) 262-2383

Bogart’s is one of my favorite places to have breakfast. It’s one of those places where no matter what you order you can’t go wrong. The last two times I’ve gone I’ve ordered the Lox Bagel. Now, I know I’m all about trying new things, unless it’s just that freaking good and that it is.

The Lox Bagel cost me $7.75 and is a bagel with cream cheese, capers, onions and tomato topped with smoked salmon. I think everyone should experience one in their lifetime. I like to have it for breakfast but I think this could swing for any meal.

My advice however is to go to Bogart’s for breakfast. I was there the other day for lunch and service was horrible. Ray came to the table after ordering our food and said, “I don’t think pregnant people should be aloud to work.” Our food was delivered to us in a plastic bag and practically thrown at us. The girl was pregnant so maybe her hormones were all out of wack but I still don’t think that should allow her a, “I get to be a biatch” card. Like I said, go for breakfast; service is good in the morning and sucks during the day.

Directions to Bogarts